Listen, my children October 31, 2007Posted by Jeff in Parenting.
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On Monday, Ruth asked me to tell her a story before bedtime. I couldn’t think of a good story on the spot, so I told her I’d tell her a poem instead. This was perfectly fine with her of course, because it delayed turning her lights off. I quoted her the following:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I –
I took the one less travelled by,
and that has made all the difference.
She liked it because of the big words and the imagery (and because she has a certain penchant for poetry, I think).
On Tuesday before bedtime, she asked me to tell her another poem, so I told her I’d tell her a new one if she memorized the first one. So she practiced a little and went to sleep.
Tonight (Wednesday), she informed me that she had stayed up late last night memorizing “Two roads” so that she could learn a new poem tonight. I asked her to recite, and sure enough, she had it down. This put me in the position of having to come up with a new poem on the spot – something I should’ve known I was going to have to do anyway.
I asked Mandi if she had any poetry books and she started looking through one for a poem for Ruth. While she was doing that, I remembered that I had read “Paul Revere’s Ride” to Ruth back in August at Campmeeting and that she had really liked it. I said, “Oh, Ruth, I just remembered the midnight ride of Paul Revere”.
“I already know that one,” she said.
“Well, I read it to you once at Campmeeting, but I don’t think you know it,” I said.
“No, I know it.”
“Ok, then, tell it to me,” I said. “It starts like this, ‘Listen, my children, and you shall…’.”
Ruth said, “‘…hear of the midnight ride of Paul Revere.'”
Needless to say, Mandi and I just about fell over. I had to confess to Ruth that I was wrong and that she did, in fact, know the poem. So, I went in the other room to find my book that had that poem in it, and when I was out of the room, Ruth told Mandi, “Oh yeah, I remember the rest of it now: ‘…hardly a man is now alive’.”
We were both flabbergasted. I suspect Ruth is a genius. If so, I’d claim dibs on being the one she got it from. 🙂
Half as much as tomorrow October 1, 2007Posted by Jeff in Drollery.
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Today at lunch, I heard “I Love You More Today Than Yesterday” on the radio. It includes the following lyrics:
I love you more today than yesterday
But only half as much as tomorrow
This, of course, was the inspiration for the following careful, mathematical analysis:
If I love you half as much as tomorrow, that means I’ll love you twice as much tomorrow as today. Since this song is played every day, I can only assume that I’ll love you twice as much the day after tomorrow as I will love you tomorrow. That’s four times as much as today, my friend.
The day after that, I will love you eight times as much as I love you today, and if we carry this out through the end of the month, you’ll find that I will love you 1,073,741,824 times as much as I do today. Given that I’m merely human and have but a finite capacity for love, I love you only about one billionth as much as I will love you by the end of the month.
Relatively speaking, this means I’m really not that fond of you right now.